It's Just Me Until I Found You

There was this time of our life where we utterly feel hopeless..about life, about love. We tend to get weak trying to overcome the struggles we are facing. It seems to me that life is a battle. He who survives, wins. He who can stand up against anything - criticism, degradation, rejection, insults, pressure and all the negativities in life are the victors.

We live to survive...in all ways possible. I, in the same way, live in accordance to this belief. I can't be any different from any normal person. This thought is killing me so that's why I wanted to break it. I wanted to be different, in ways I am. I'm a wanderer of life, religion and people. I only have one life, I only have one chance to know the things I wanted to know, so I should not waste it. I wanna give it a try.

In my 26 years of being alive, what did I get? Not answers at all..but I get to know myself. Realization is what struck me. In all honesty, I hate myself. I hate what I have done. I become someone whom I dislike. But I did try to protect myself, shelter myself just to meet the standards of the society of becoming a "good" person. Unfortunately, things doesn't always go our way.

I have accepted myself. I have come to love myself. Only then I realize that love do exist apart from believing that it is just a luxury that everyone must experience to satisfy the need of being alive.

What makes love more appealing is when I meet someone as creepy as I am..and I just fall in love without any reason in mind. I am just so comfortable with his presence that I almost forget we just knew each other for a quite while. God indeed is full of surprises. I'm just so overhelmed to realize that not all first love comes first.

Ironic to say but I have never been this happy, contented and valued for my whole life. How can this be a reality... There must be a reason for everything.

After all the misdirections, assumptions, doubts and confusion I had in mind, the bottom line is..LOVE.

Life is more meaningful when you are being loved and in love. Life is less painful when you have someone to share your life with.

I am certain but can't be that sure for I know that our heart is very deceitful above all things..

Despite the very unstable situation we have, baby, no matter how short or long we could stay together, for all the test we will about to encounteer, for all you are and what will you become, for what I am now, again I say, I'll do my best to save us. And hey I am not pressuring you. I am just stating the facts. :-)

MY SWEET JARRYD, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART.